They'll never understand

I think I'm finally tired. I realized last night that I just need to be forward with it. If my parents can't be mature about it then I might as well be the bigger person because there is no point pretending anymore. There isn't a point pretending that I am happy with them. Quite frankly, they don't care about anything that doesn't bring in the money. They wonder why I can't confide in them, why I can't trust them with my life and who I am. Because they don't bother to find out what I am beneath the awards, the prestigious school and major, and my job. How much money are you going to make? HOW MUCH MONEY ARE YOU GOING TO MAKE? Is that all that FUCKIN' matters! Do they understand that I have grown so much as a person or a leader here in San Diego? Do they care what amazing friends I have found? Do they know that I stay here because I find more support and understanding in my friends that I have ever found in my parents? It doesn't matter what I do; it only matters what they think is best in their head. They don't think one bit that I am capable of thinking for myself and doing what I know is best for me. They step all over me with their opinions because they think they know best, and that's all it has been. I AM A GROWN ADULT THAT IS ABLE TO THINK AND ACT FOR MYSELF, please let me be who I want to be. My heart hurts too much knowing that I have held this in for 5 years now and I have faked a smile every trip back home. And now that I am leaving to be on my own, I need to tell you this.