This damn show is fuckin' addicting as hell. I thought I couldn't sit through more than 3 hours because usually that's how long my attention span is for movies. But geez, I just can't get enough. Looks like I am actually going to be able to finish it this weekend.
Sure, it has its flaws and potholes throughout the storyline. But it's damn entertaining and thought-provoking. My perfect combination.
Friday, August 22, 2008
Thursday, August 21, 2008
16 Stories
I don't normally do these things, but I liked my answers so I'm posting them.
Directions:
Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment (”you’re it”) and to read your blog. You can’t tag the person who tagged you.
16 Things, Facts, Habits, Goals
1. I've had a moderate case of pectus excavatum since I was born (this explains half of my screenname). When I was little, my theory was that my dad threw a football at my chest.
2. I wanted to play little league baseball when I was young, but my dad never put me into it.
3. I ran into the corner of a wall running away from my sister. I cracked my head and had my first stitches.
4. I was playing fort with blankets and one of the drawers came out and the corner fell on my head. I cracked my head and had my first staple.
5. When I was 4, my dad was taking me to Toys "R" Us. He started the car, but forgot something inside. I put the car into reverse and demolished our neighbors' wall.
6. My sister and I were biking. I went down a hill really fast. Because it was super fun, I told my sister to go down really fast too (forgot she was on training wheels). One side gave in, she fell over and broke her arm at age 4.
7. I threw Nickelodeon Gak into my sister's hair thinking it would come out. It didn't. I shoved her into the closet so my parents wouldn't see.
8. In 3rd grade, I was the times table champion 6 months in a row, the jump rope champion, and 3rd place in the handball tourney. I was so proud of myself.
9. Starting out high school, I was 4'8". Hence, the screenname: LiLsHorTyPiNoY85.
10. During the 6.6 Northridge earthquake in 1994, I was sleeping at my cousin's place in Cerritos. Supposedly, a large lamp fell on my face and I still didn't wake up.
11. After meeting at a friend's place for a school project, I got to drive my HS crush home. And I was so intently listening to her that I got badly rear-ended after driving too slowly after I took a right turn.
12. At one point in my life, I thought I was the second coming of Jesus.
13. I pissed in my pants right before I boarded Riddler's Revenge at Magic Mountain. I was in 8th grade. I went to Tidal Wave to clean myself off to find it was closed.
14. When I was 12, I ripped up a twenty-dollar bill my dad gave me at a family party because of his drunken and alcoholic ways. My, have things changed since.
15. Our rabbit was getting too big for the cage we built for it. My dad decided to let go be free in the "wild" near our house. We found its bloody dead body later that week. What were we thinking...
16. One time at a track meet, one of my friends said to me, "Wow, your dad is here at every track meet. You're lucky." That's when I realized how lucky I was to have him as my father.
Directions:
Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a note with 16 random things, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 10 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. Don’t forget to leave them a comment (”you’re it”) and to read your blog. You can’t tag the person who tagged you.
16 Things, Facts, Habits, Goals
1. I've had a moderate case of pectus excavatum since I was born (this explains half of my screenname). When I was little, my theory was that my dad threw a football at my chest.
2. I wanted to play little league baseball when I was young, but my dad never put me into it.
3. I ran into the corner of a wall running away from my sister. I cracked my head and had my first stitches.
4. I was playing fort with blankets and one of the drawers came out and the corner fell on my head. I cracked my head and had my first staple.
5. When I was 4, my dad was taking me to Toys "R" Us. He started the car, but forgot something inside. I put the car into reverse and demolished our neighbors' wall.
6. My sister and I were biking. I went down a hill really fast. Because it was super fun, I told my sister to go down really fast too (forgot she was on training wheels). One side gave in, she fell over and broke her arm at age 4.
7. I threw Nickelodeon Gak into my sister's hair thinking it would come out. It didn't. I shoved her into the closet so my parents wouldn't see.
8. In 3rd grade, I was the times table champion 6 months in a row, the jump rope champion, and 3rd place in the handball tourney. I was so proud of myself.
9. Starting out high school, I was 4'8". Hence, the screenname: LiLsHorTyPiNoY85.
10. During the 6.6 Northridge earthquake in 1994, I was sleeping at my cousin's place in Cerritos. Supposedly, a large lamp fell on my face and I still didn't wake up.
11. After meeting at a friend's place for a school project, I got to drive my HS crush home. And I was so intently listening to her that I got badly rear-ended after driving too slowly after I took a right turn.
12. At one point in my life, I thought I was the second coming of Jesus.
13. I pissed in my pants right before I boarded Riddler's Revenge at Magic Mountain. I was in 8th grade. I went to Tidal Wave to clean myself off to find it was closed.
14. When I was 12, I ripped up a twenty-dollar bill my dad gave me at a family party because of his drunken and alcoholic ways. My, have things changed since.
15. Our rabbit was getting too big for the cage we built for it. My dad decided to let go be free in the "wild" near our house. We found its bloody dead body later that week. What were we thinking...
16. One time at a track meet, one of my friends said to me, "Wow, your dad is here at every track meet. You're lucky." That's when I realized how lucky I was to have him as my father.
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Staring out the window
Rarely does a film hit me. Rarely does religious or spiritual thought affect me. And even more rarely do I give a chance to a movie with a 23% rating on Rotten Tomatoes. And putting all those rarities together, I would never think a 23% RT rating movie with religious philosophical thought would affect me. But it did last night.
I was cooking dinner with Diwata while James and Aaron were watching Evan Almighty in the living room. I was in and out of the room checking up on the cooking when I came across this interesting quote from God (played by Morgan Freeman):
I don't believe that each of us possesses a particular array of characteristics (i.e. patience, courage). Rather, we have the opportunities to become those characteristics in our own right and we are defined by which opportunities we choose to take advantage of.
I'll take a good friend of mine as an example: Idelle. All year as we planned activity after activity, Buquid and I would always hear Idelle give the excuse that she's not creative. In our opinion, we think she is damn creative and we would always remind her of that. And in the end, she would give some amazing ideas. And that is because she took the opportunity to be creative.
Reiterating much of what I said at P-Grad, I have defined myself beyond what I could have imagined through the opportunities I shot myself into. I didn't have to come out to KP. I didn't have to go out when Carlo called me to. Neither did I have to write for PCC. Or become peer counselor/vice chair-internal/chair. Neither did I need to go to Sunnyvale for find a stable job. But I did. I chose to take the opportunity to be patient. to be a leader. to be creative. to be adventurous. to inspire others. to challenge myself. to try something new. All of us have the same opportunities, but I chose these ones and that's what defines me.
I was cooking dinner with Diwata while James and Aaron were watching Evan Almighty in the living room. I was in and out of the room checking up on the cooking when I came across this interesting quote from God (played by Morgan Freeman):
- Joan: But my husband says God told him to do it. What do you do with that?
- God: Sounds like an opportunity. Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, do you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If they pray for courage, does God give them courage, or does he give them opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for their family to be closer, you think God zaps them with warm, fuzzy feelings? Or does he give them opportunities to love each other? Well, I got to run. A lot of people to serve. Enjoy.
I don't believe that each of us possesses a particular array of characteristics (i.e. patience, courage). Rather, we have the opportunities to become those characteristics in our own right and we are defined by which opportunities we choose to take advantage of.
I'll take a good friend of mine as an example: Idelle. All year as we planned activity after activity, Buquid and I would always hear Idelle give the excuse that she's not creative. In our opinion, we think she is damn creative and we would always remind her of that. And in the end, she would give some amazing ideas. And that is because she took the opportunity to be creative.
Reiterating much of what I said at P-Grad, I have defined myself beyond what I could have imagined through the opportunities I shot myself into. I didn't have to come out to KP. I didn't have to go out when Carlo called me to. Neither did I have to write for PCC. Or become peer counselor/vice chair-internal/chair. Neither did I need to go to Sunnyvale for find a stable job. But I did. I chose to take the opportunity to be patient. to be a leader. to be creative. to be adventurous. to inspire others. to challenge myself. to try something new. All of us have the same opportunities, but I chose these ones and that's what defines me.
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
Drinking Age: 18 or 21?
I was reading an article on how the presidents of many universities are signing petitions to spark dialogue and possibly even amend the legal drinking age.
I obviously don't know what arguments were made in favor of making the drinking age 21 back in the day, but I am willing to bet that much of it was based on supposed discrepancies in maturity levels between 18 and 21. But I believe that many people become irresponsible with drinking because of the novelty. With more exposure/experience with drinking people better understand the consequences and make better judgments when it comes to drinking. Maybe it is their maturity, but I believe it is a certain maturity that attaches itself exclusively to drinking as opposed to a personal maturity that comes with the different experiences one goes through from 18 to 21.
What many of the university presidents are saying is that may college students under the age of 21 are inclined to binge drink before they go out because they obviously cannot purchase alcohol once they are out. And to me, that makes sense. For most people, more than half of your college career you cannot legally drink while you see all your older friends drinking whenever and almost wherever they damn well please. I'm sure there is that feeling of exclusion that motivates younger people to binge particularly because sometimes those opportunities do not come very often. Alcohol is integrated and almost solidified into the college culture that you can't help but feel left out if you aren't 21.
But then again, there is that argument that by lowering the drinking age to 18 will only widen the spectrum of binge drinkers. Definitely a large group of drinkers fall in the 18-20 age range, and all of these people are illegal. By lowering the drinking age, it might only encourage more high school students to drink. And with almost all high school students living at home, it encourages them to drink elsewhere and only increasing the number of drunk drivers on the streets. Like I was talking about earlier, novelty plays a huge factor into the culture of drinking and I feel that with drinking being so new in the high school demographics, it might only worsen the drinking problem by getting it started at earlier ages.
I personally don't know where I stand on the issue. But I was pretty stubborn on keeping it 21. Now, I just don't know, haha.
I obviously don't know what arguments were made in favor of making the drinking age 21 back in the day, but I am willing to bet that much of it was based on supposed discrepancies in maturity levels between 18 and 21. But I believe that many people become irresponsible with drinking because of the novelty. With more exposure/experience with drinking people better understand the consequences and make better judgments when it comes to drinking. Maybe it is their maturity, but I believe it is a certain maturity that attaches itself exclusively to drinking as opposed to a personal maturity that comes with the different experiences one goes through from 18 to 21.
What many of the university presidents are saying is that may college students under the age of 21 are inclined to binge drink before they go out because they obviously cannot purchase alcohol once they are out. And to me, that makes sense. For most people, more than half of your college career you cannot legally drink while you see all your older friends drinking whenever and almost wherever they damn well please. I'm sure there is that feeling of exclusion that motivates younger people to binge particularly because sometimes those opportunities do not come very often. Alcohol is integrated and almost solidified into the college culture that you can't help but feel left out if you aren't 21.
But then again, there is that argument that by lowering the drinking age to 18 will only widen the spectrum of binge drinkers. Definitely a large group of drinkers fall in the 18-20 age range, and all of these people are illegal. By lowering the drinking age, it might only encourage more high school students to drink. And with almost all high school students living at home, it encourages them to drink elsewhere and only increasing the number of drunk drivers on the streets. Like I was talking about earlier, novelty plays a huge factor into the culture of drinking and I feel that with drinking being so new in the high school demographics, it might only worsen the drinking problem by getting it started at earlier ages.
I personally don't know where I stand on the issue. But I was pretty stubborn on keeping it 21. Now, I just don't know, haha.
Wow, unexpected
I completely bawled in my car on the way back from by drug test. And to my surprise, it wasn't about leaving. It was about something else. Or someone actually.
It shouldn't matter who a friend's friends are. But it does. To me. In this case.
It's not that I hate them or think that this friend shouldn't be friends with them. Perhaps I am not very fond of them, and many times I find myself disagreeing with them time and time again. But that leads me to feel a certain discomfort that I absolutely despise. So big deal, right? I don't feel comfortable around them. Why does it affect my personal relationship with this friend? Probably because it is that this person is caught in the middle, almost forcing this person to choose. Maybe because I don't always feel the interaction is genuine anymore. Or more that it doesn't feel natural. What can I say? Oh well.
But I can't say that. I care so much for this person. Who knows? I had the choice and I made it. I didn't have to, but I did. And maybe if I didn't, this wouldn't have been a problem. Because I probably wouldn't have cared as much as I do now.
And hoping that this summer I would have the time to hang out with this friend. And now in my last week here in SD, I haven't seen this friend even once.
It shouldn't matter who a friend's friends are. But it does. To me. In this case.
It's not that I hate them or think that this friend shouldn't be friends with them. Perhaps I am not very fond of them, and many times I find myself disagreeing with them time and time again. But that leads me to feel a certain discomfort that I absolutely despise. So big deal, right? I don't feel comfortable around them. Why does it affect my personal relationship with this friend? Probably because it is that this person is caught in the middle, almost forcing this person to choose. Maybe because I don't always feel the interaction is genuine anymore. Or more that it doesn't feel natural. What can I say? Oh well.
But I can't say that. I care so much for this person. Who knows? I had the choice and I made it. I didn't have to, but I did. And maybe if I didn't, this wouldn't have been a problem. Because I probably wouldn't have cared as much as I do now.
And hoping that this summer I would have the time to hang out with this friend. And now in my last week here in SD, I haven't seen this friend even once.
Nightball
Last night was super fun. It was just hitting the ball and running aimlessly covering our heads in the outfield. But it was spontaneous. No one could see but I was smiling in the darkness.
Monday, August 18, 2008
Crying a River
LOL, no I'm just kidding I'm not. But geez, what a surge of emotion I must say. I come back from Vegas, which served a reminder of how much I'm going to miss these fuckin' people here in SD, and realize that I only have a week left to get out of Sean Taylor since I have Cabo all of next week and everyone wants to purposely make me emo on AIM.
As I am packing away, I gradually recall everything I've loved about SD and all the memories that have made this some of the best years of my life. That tingly feeling keeps vibrating throughout my body and I can't contain it. Well, I have to finish packing. I'll come back to this later.
As I am packing away, I gradually recall everything I've loved about SD and all the memories that have made this some of the best years of my life. That tingly feeling keeps vibrating throughout my body and I can't contain it. Well, I have to finish packing. I'll come back to this later.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Guess
What song it is:
In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry
The lyrics have no significance to me, at least in this moment, but I've been on an emo song rampage as of late and it's the song I'm listening to that song right now. Ultra-cheesy and perfectly karaoke. I love it.
I had an epiphany today: I want to make an original song. Well, of course given that I am one of the least musically talented people out there, I'm going to need some help. I think what I genuinely want to do is write the lyrics and I'll have Larsen, Aaron, and Dee take care of the arrangement, haha.
In places no one would find
All your feelings so deep inside (deep inside)
It was then that I realized
That forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry
The lyrics have no significance to me, at least in this moment, but I've been on an emo song rampage as of late and it's the song I'm listening to that song right now. Ultra-cheesy and perfectly karaoke. I love it.
I had an epiphany today: I want to make an original song. Well, of course given that I am one of the least musically talented people out there, I'm going to need some help. I think what I genuinely want to do is write the lyrics and I'll have Larsen, Aaron, and Dee take care of the arrangement, haha.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Nothing but a paper bag
See, it's the insomniac's loneliness kicking in. 2nd blog in less than an hour.
I had a random thought and finally remembered that the paper bag from transition retreat was in the trunk of my car. I just barely read them and I almost cried. Damn you, board0708.
All I want to say is that letting go is harder than I thought and more than I let show. On the outside, I preach values of trust, change, progress and new leadership because I know that is what's right. But on the inside, I'm burning my fingertips to stop myself from reaching out more than I should. And after reading that paper bag of letters and having that STARCORE meeting at my house, it sure does not help it much. Just shut me out already so it makes it easier for me. Just kidding, I didn't mean that, lol.
I had a random thought and finally remembered that the paper bag from transition retreat was in the trunk of my car. I just barely read them and I almost cried. Damn you, board0708.
All I want to say is that letting go is harder than I thought and more than I let show. On the outside, I preach values of trust, change, progress and new leadership because I know that is what's right. But on the inside, I'm burning my fingertips to stop myself from reaching out more than I should. And after reading that paper bag of letters and having that STARCORE meeting at my house, it sure does not help it much. Just shut me out already so it makes it easier for me. Just kidding, I didn't mean that, lol.
The Death of AIM (for me)
No, I'm not going to abandon AIM. But really, AIM has never been the same to me since probably my 3rd year. Conversations just haven't been the same. For one, when I'm online I tend to be easily distracted with cleaning, TV, browsing Facebook or YouTube, or other daily activities that my AIM conversations always seem broken. For another, most people are doing the same thing. Most of the time they are at work or in class and when most people have the time to go on AIM they are out doing something else more efficient with their time.
I miss those days when I could stay up 'til 7am in the morning talking to insomniacs like myself. Nowadays, I'm lucky to find someone to talk to past 2am. There is something comforting about knowing that there is someone up late enough for you to talk to. And along with that, there are no distraction but you and that other person and the conversations are some you can never get at any other time of the day. I've met some of my greatest friends at these wee hours of the night =D
At a time when the curtains are closed and the lights are off, the insomniacs, in their unconventional lifestyle, feel only loneliness, a feeling that only forces them into contemplation. Perhaps that is why I enjoy these hours of the night. In a world when life is overly social and fast-paced, it is these hours that seem the longest, breathing life in a way that intricately absorbs its every still and dynamic beauty. Free of all distractions but the distraction to be free.
And now, I'm lying stomach down with my pillow smudged into my face, my kiddie alarm clock staring right into my eyes, and listening to some of the best emo songs of life. And to be quite frank, I couldn't be more satisfied.
I miss those days when I could stay up 'til 7am in the morning talking to insomniacs like myself. Nowadays, I'm lucky to find someone to talk to past 2am. There is something comforting about knowing that there is someone up late enough for you to talk to. And along with that, there are no distraction but you and that other person and the conversations are some you can never get at any other time of the day. I've met some of my greatest friends at these wee hours of the night =D
At a time when the curtains are closed and the lights are off, the insomniacs, in their unconventional lifestyle, feel only loneliness, a feeling that only forces them into contemplation. Perhaps that is why I enjoy these hours of the night. In a world when life is overly social and fast-paced, it is these hours that seem the longest, breathing life in a way that intricately absorbs its every still and dynamic beauty. Free of all distractions but the distraction to be free.
And now, I'm lying stomach down with my pillow smudged into my face, my kiddie alarm clock staring right into my eyes, and listening to some of the best emo songs of life. And to be quite frank, I couldn't be more satisfied.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
STARCORE
All this thinking about the retreat makes me miss coordinating and planning these types of things *sigh* Oh well, it's the way of life and I gotta get over it already.
Oh, and Summer Bridge Leadership component is tonight too. I wanted to go to that =/
Oh, and Summer Bridge Leadership component is tonight too. I wanted to go to that =/
OH MY GULAY
Skydiving was the most ridiculous thing I have ever done in my life. An edited video to come =D
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Frosted
Flakers, my biggest pet peeve.
One's ability to honor a committed statement shows character. Trust, reliability, and commitment. 3 characteristics I value in a friendship or relationship and flaking reflects one's ability to demonstrate that character.
I never outwardly show how mad I am, because I guess I never want to make a scene over something that might seem trivial at the time. But just know that if you ever flake on me, no amount of bullshit justification will change my perception of you. I am not one to hold grudges, but flakers (or at least consistent ones) will always have an asterisk next to their face in my head.
One's ability to honor a committed statement shows character. Trust, reliability, and commitment. 3 characteristics I value in a friendship or relationship and flaking reflects one's ability to demonstrate that character.
I never outwardly show how mad I am, because I guess I never want to make a scene over something that might seem trivial at the time. But just know that if you ever flake on me, no amount of bullshit justification will change my perception of you. I am not one to hold grudges, but flakers (or at least consistent ones) will always have an asterisk next to their face in my head.
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