Wow, unexpected

I completely bawled in my car on the way back from by drug test. And to my surprise, it wasn't about leaving. It was about something else. Or someone actually.

It shouldn't matter who a friend's friends are. But it does. To me. In this case.

It's not that I hate them or think that this friend shouldn't be friends with them. Perhaps I am not very fond of them, and many times I find myself disagreeing with them time and time again. But that leads me to feel a certain discomfort that I absolutely despise. So big deal, right? I don't feel comfortable around them. Why does it affect my personal relationship with this friend? Probably because it is that this person is caught in the middle, almost forcing this person to choose. Maybe because I don't always feel the interaction is genuine anymore. Or more that it doesn't feel natural. What can I say? Oh well.

But I can't say that. I care so much for this person. Who knows? I had the choice and I made it. I didn't have to, but I did. And maybe if I didn't, this wouldn't have been a problem. Because I probably wouldn't have cared as much as I do now.

And hoping that this summer I would have the time to hang out with this friend. And now in my last week here in SD, I haven't seen this friend even once.